How to Have a Friendly Divorce

As an experienced Portland divorce attorney, I can attest that there is no truly easy way to get a divorce. You may have to go to court, and you will most likely have to hire a divorce attorney. Neither of those things by themselves are what most people would call “fun,” and that doesn’t even take into account all of the feelings that go into separating from a person you probably thought you were going to spend your life with. Simply put, divorce is painful.

However, there are ways to make your divorce a more amicable process. After all, no one wants to put their family through any more pain than is absolutely necessary. Below are some things you can do to make the proceedings go as smoothly as possible.

Portland Divorce Attorney’s Top 4 Tips for an Amicable Separation

Make absolutely sure this is what you want. Even under the most positive conditions, going through a divorce is stressful, especially when there are child custody issues involved. Before making that leap to divorce, consider talking to a family counselor and schedule an appointment with an experienced Portland divorce attorney to go over what you’re really getting into.

Talk it out with your spouse. The more decisions the two of you can agree upon up front, the quicker and easier the proceedings will be. This means coming up with a plan to divide your assets and deciding how child custody will work after the divorce, among other things. If you can’t come to an amicable arrangement with your future ex, your divorce attorney or mediator can help. Remember, if you don’t decide, a judge will do it for you – not the situation you want to be in.

Choose your battles wisely. Often, a Portland divorce attorney will watch as their clients fight tooth and nail for something they don’t really have any interest in. It becomes more about depriving their partner of something than gaining it for themselves. Before it gets to this point, make a list of the possessions that are truly important to you, then rank them as “need,” “want,” and “would like.” It’s not worth the time, money, or pain it will cause your family to fight over something that doesn’t matter all that much to you anyway.

Take care of your physical and mental health. Divorce can be an exhausting, agonizing experience even under the best of scenarios, and the physical toll this takes on you can make you act out of anger and frustration instead of from a clear mind. Rest, exercise, and eat well. If you still feel like the stress is too much, talk to a counselor to help you sort through your feelings, so that you can be rational and active.

If you’re still feeling the need to burn bridges, keep in mind that divorce doesn’t necessarily end when you receive your papers in the mail. As a Portland divorce attorney can tell you, “post-judgment” motions and orders such as changes to child support, child custody, alimony, visitation, or other items in the Separation Agreement can mean that you’ll be interacting with your ex for years to come. Do your best to eliminate that future stress now by making your divorce as “friendly” as possible.

For advice specific to your individual circumstances, contact an experienced Portland divorce attorney today.

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